ME minus YOU

Lately its hard to fall asleep, every time I close my eyes you walk into my dreams, rudely, without knocking, like its home. Actually that's truth, my dreams are your home. You've just become a reluctant property owner, when I finally sleep its hard to wake up, when I finally wake up its hard, cos there's no reflection of you in the dressing mirror frowning at your make up.

No humming that annoying song you know I hate, no eavesdropping on your morning gossip with girlfriends on skype, Nothing....

The cashier at Shoprite said the alarm clock I was buying was the loudest she had ever heard. I could barely raise an eyebrow when it sounded, it is dust before the awakening quality of your slap on my buttocks, God, I miss you.

The butterflies in my stomach died, decayed and spawned worms fighting for food in my belly so all I do is eat, eat to forget, but even when I eat to forget, I remember.

I remember that the fillet Mignon that sits before me has nothing on your Banku and Tilapia, and the water that neutralizes the sweet burning sensation of your wickedly ground pepper tastes better when delivered by your hand.

I would trade this bottle of Jack Daniels any day for a cup of your gari soakings, and even though its always been a cause of loose bowels, I'd rather have a lifetime of running stomachs than thoughts racing.

That reminds me, I left the toilet seat up again, *smiles* I guess that's one advantage of you not being here; I won't get scolded. You know what's funny? Everytime you lashed at me with those angry words I really wanted you to just shut up and kiss me. Now though, I wish you'd come back and never shut up, scream at the top of your voice, scream till you got a record deal singing at the opera, I don't care baby, I'd be cool. Just make sure when you walk out that door you'll be back at 6pm with my chicken flavored Indomie.

You know, I stopped watching who wants to be rich,its no more fun knowing all the answers when you're the only person I wanted to impress. Empress you are the C.E.O of my emotions that's not going to change. My E.G.O told me not to say this but chale what's it worth being a proud lion when I cannot lay by my pride.

Dumb conversations we had, on the same bed, when we were bored I'd call you, you'd foolishly pick up, I'd say How? You'd say Hawa Yakubu. I'd say Bugatti. Tinapa would be your reply. Then the MTN lady would rudely interrupt telling me all I had was one minute, I'd report her to you, "forget her baby" you would whisper, and we would burn that minute talking nonsense to the most minute micro second, we never cared about the content of our conversation all that mattered was that we spoke to each other.

I stopped listening to the radio cos our song is still topping the charts it sounded beautiful when we were deep in love but it sounds so crude and ugly to a broken heart.

I have one question though if you wanted to leave me, why didn't you wait? Why did you do so in the rainy season? Why would you leave someone you say you loved at a time when rain and thunder were like theme music to misery, why? All my pillows are flattened and my dog doesn't want to play affection paramedic. Its just me, my deflated emotions and pillow singing rain rain go away. *sad*.

Today I was listening to Adele's song she seems to have a broken heart too, telling her ex lover "never mind I'll find someone like you". Honestly though, I don't think she was really in love, I mean it is factual to my brain that I'll never find someone like you, EVER!

Maybe I deserve this pain from my dealings in the past, they told me Karma was a bitch, they lied. They didn't know her. Karma is a six headed demon with a spear aimed for the heart.

Whoever you are with right now should know I'd still knock him out even if I met him in heaven.

People tell me to move on, get back in the game. I don't know how they want me to start a new race when I'm already finished, destroyed, decimated...

The old lady came by again today, she thought you had some clothes for her to wash. She ended up washing away my tears.

You were torn between being my queen and another's angel, I've reluctantly come to understand your decision, I mean what's a crown to a Halo?

But I know sometimes you'll miss me, Like times when you are at that dinner with your old school mates fresh from the UK, advertising their instantly acquired "British" accents loudly, soiling your appetite. You'll miss me, cos I won't be there to whisper "arishrishkontomire" in your ear and leave you choking on your food with laughter. You'll miss that... You'll smile for a few seconds lost in thought about me, pinch yourself back to reality and continue with dinner. It will happen.

But I know even that won't change anything.

So, I'm just here wishing God would rewind to the first day I laid eyes on you, to the exact time my friends asked me to give it a shot, having the knowledge I posses now, I'd simply refuse and make them aware, almost every shot taken ends in disaster,

1.Heroin shot

2. Akpeteshie shot

3. Shot in cold blood.....